For all your lubrication solutions!
I saw this in Burma! I’m an animal lover but… It’s funny what you see out and about in Asia! There’s Stallion lubrication and OK condoms, V wacky adverts in Cambodia and Vietnam.
It’s a ready made dynamite duo aphrodisiac attack, what woman or horse could resist?!
Speaking of which, when I arrived in Burma I thought I was some pretty hot stuff. Women old, young, black, white, even some dudes! Were all blowing kisses at me! Soon as I step on the scene I’m hearing girlies screaming. I turn up and I’m getting more come on’s than Tom Jones at a Cardiff old people’s home!
Then someone tells me, that in fact blowing kisses is the Burmese way of getting your attention, or saying “move bitch, get out the way!” Damn!
Cultural contrasts! In Burma they blow kisses to get your attention, In Brasil they “shoosh” you like they’re trying to scare a cat, and in England we just say “Oi!”
Which reminds me of the 1st single I ever bought.
I would love to do a Karaoke version of this. It would be a showstopper no doubt!
It was the Burmese New Year water festival while I was here, and to put it mildly it’s “FUCKING MENTAL!”
Absolute chaos, people drive maniacally around the city packed onto jeeps and mopeds, getting boozed up and throwing water. The road is lined with stages/fortresses protected with barbed wire, while people on top spray high-powered fire hydrants at you! It’s pretty rowdy and a complete contrast to the peaceful time I have spent here in the countryside or at the meditation centre.
As previously mentioned there aren’t many tourists’ here. And being a foreigner especially a tall dark and handsome one LOL you are granted literal celebrity status. Every body and their momma wants to shake your hand, have you kiss their baby etc etc. Unfortunately though, due to Burma’s strict social conventions, stricter than the rest of Asia! Single women aren’t aloud out unless accompanied by 3 armed bodyguards! So at the festival most of the attention, though thank god not all, was from whiskey breathed men with red betel nut teeth.
I’ve had more over excited wet man hugs than at a night at the blue oyster bar!
This celeb shit ain’t easy.
All this was very different to my Mahasi Vispanna meditation retreat. 8 days of Zen, enlightenment and being present! It was damn hard. There were a few times when I thought getting through the next hour, let alone the next 8 days was questionable. But I did it, being mindful of the impermanence of things ;).
Apart from gaining spiritual enlightenment and national super stardom The highlight of Burma has been going to a Shaolin monk’s birthday party with my Chinese/Burmese friends! There was no kung fu, but lots of Ice cream and jelly! It was a really nice community affair with families and worshipers all providing food so we could enjoy a feast. The monks took time out to speak to me and I felt really included in the celebrations.
Despite the political trouble here. People are extremely friendly and honest. Plus they LOVE English football. I actually pretended to like football! Some guys I met were SO enthusiastic to meet an Englishman to chat footie with, I didn’t have the heart to tell them actually I don’t like or know much about the” beautiful game!” It’s all love.
After Burma it was a short trip to BKK. It was a good to be back, the place feels so familiar and I know some good people there. But I’m beginning to think I’m at the centre of a global conspiracy. I go to Burma a bomb goes off, I arrive in BKK literally an hour later a grenade attack at the train station I was at, either I’m prime suspect number 1, Carlos the jackal mark 2, or people are trying to kill me! I just got to the Nam, so expect a political uprising or unknown terror attack with in the next 24hr’s.
I am sad about what is happening in BKK at the moment. I don’t believe the majority of the people involved in the demo’s are “bad”, maybe a bit easily led. But not “bad”. Politics seem very polarised here, I guess like everywhere it’s a tribe thing, the issues almost come second. Men with Microphone’s screaming fiery rhetoric, people firing grenade launchers off and Thai police armed to the teeth, it’s not a good combination. Things did feel a bit tense in some places. As John Lennon said “all we are saying is give peace a chance.”
That said, Thailand is not BKK and BKK is HUGE. I still enjoyed the place. My friend had invited me over for a wedding and that was great. It was the reception which was pretty much a western affair, save a few karaoke jams and chicken’s feet, but it was cool to be invited and share that experience. Afterwards we spent the night brocking out to Thai pop rock and drinking sangsun whiskey!
Increase the peace.